As someone who just recently gave in to purchasing wall Pilates after being hit over the head with its ads EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past year, I felt this. I try to resist the slimy marketing tactics, the urge to doomscroll, the need to know useless, fleeting internet trends (Brat summer? Demure and mindful? Do I really need to know this?), but the struggle is real. I’m not even 14, I’m 44!😭😂 Great essay! This is how we fight back.✊🏽
Thank you so much for your kind words Nida! 💓 I thought brat summer was funny but 1) I didn’t even fully get the demure thing and 2) that really felt over before it even began 🤣 We don’t need this noise! We need to frolic 🌸
The title got me on this one. I am so incredibly drawn to self-improvement messaging — and it’s so incredibly detrimental to think that your self needs endless improvement and optimization. It really is “quicksand,” as you say. Enchanting article ✨
"I don’t think any the civilisations that came before us were so obsessed with building habits, time management and self-optimisation." :)
Time Management is an industrial thing post-WW1-era-esque - foisted upon us by "Management" Experts. I read somewhere it was some guy who shadowed Coal Miners or SteelMill Workers and then showed that XYZ thing could be done in less time or whatever who started the trend of 'Atomic' Maximising.
(gaaah! why won't susbtack allow formatting in comments?!!)
Yoga, and the practice of Meditation or the other Hindu/Indian religious practices - and one could say the entire Hindu or Indian way of life if about Building Habits, Self-Optimisation towards the next stage(s) of life - and finally to Moksha.
This encapsulates my own experience of this energy overwhelm and how now I am listening to my body. When she feels the ick, sick, nauseous, headachey, I lie down and stare at the ceiling, or go for a walk. I quit all social media back in 2020 but battled on/off with IG and now off it completely. My phone is still at me though. I am almost finished a post about how the phone is a metaphor for the mind, which I need to get back to. My lesson is to listen to the body, honour what she feeds back to me, and never to override her. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much Íse - I'm super interested to read your post about the phone being a metaphor for the mind!!! The phone being an object, an extension of our minds as well as a body part is something that I find really fascinating. I touched on it in one of my other recent posts called "Me, my phone and I" - https://open.substack.com/pub/caoilainn/p/me-my-phone-and-i?r=1xgpg1&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Loved reading this and it feels so relatable right now. I completely exited instagram maybe nearly 2 years ago now (it’s been so long I can’t actually remember) but I’m still so drawn to those short snappy videos on YouTube and Facebook and all of a sudden I find myself watching something and then thinking would my life be better if… when I’m really happy with my life as it is! Amazing how it gets you, eh!
I always remind myself how many teams of people designed this specifically to make it addictive. You need to be so careful to protect your time! Thanks for reading 💕
"life should have a great deal of unstructured time for play and contemplation" - ooohhh this is right up my alley, and something I'm planning on writing about in the coming months!
Very thought-provoking read Caoilainn. I've been thinking about this a lot in terms of the behaviours I want to model for O. But toddlers are also great teachers - they literally just want to sit outside and touch grass! Also that final Rosamund Pike gif is perfection.
Great read, Caoilainn. Funny enough, I bought Hello Klean haha a while back, but it didn't have the shower head, just the cartridge. A hairdresser friend recommended it after I told him I had eczema on my head. It didn't really help with that, and now luckily it's gone.
I feel so much better since logging on less and less on Instagram. I miss out on a lot, but I feel more peaceful without this constant bombardment of information. And when I log on occasionally, it's so crazy how my mood shifts again to feeling more anxious, wanting, planning... I'm still on YouTube, but I try and only follow people now that feel nourishing to watch, even though the recommendation page is sometimes a danger zone haha
When Blinkist first came out, I was extremely sad as someone who loves reading books. I couldn't believe why we want to optimize everything. I did try it out of curiosity, but these 15 minutes left me more empty than nourished.
Nooooo it got you 💸😅 I was *this* close. Also love that you tried Blinkist and found out for yourself. It’s funny, I also feel very cautious of developing an attitude where any new or innovative = bad or to be avoided. Life is never that black and white, it just feels like such a minefield trying new things because they are designed to capture our attention. And I second the mental health boost that comes from deleting Instagram. Actually going to do it now and enjoy the weekend 😎
hahahaha I didn't see it on Instagram, my hairdresser friend told me about it in person. Although he may have seen it on Instagram. But I have fallen for other things I saw on Instagram.
As someone who works in tech, I'm always curious to try new things. I love innovative products, but I had doubts when I tried Blinkisr. I enjoy reading and writing, and the thought of someone reading a 15-minute version of a book I've written is devastating! Imagine, OMG? I would cry.
Oh, and James Clear, I really liked his book, but after reading your post, I realize I need to take it with a pinch of salt as we are surrounded by toxic productivity. My next post will touch base on this as I keep falling for this trap.
When I found out what hip dips were—and that I had them—I was like why are we inventing new demons? Are they issuing patents on insecurities now or something?
This is a wonderful essay, and I deeply resonate with the temptation to add layers of “productivity” instead of just resting. It’s such a tough push and pull — I feel more pressure to perform optimization for others than to actually be optimized for myself.
I recently started a small challenge where I take a 20-minute nap everyday (the nature of my work makes this impossible some days), but it’s helping me do “nothing.”
I love this idea! Reminds me of the many 30-day challenges (eg. for exercise etc) on youtube, for self-improvement. Imagining the youtube video for "30 days of napping" - how inspiring it would be 😆
As someone who just recently gave in to purchasing wall Pilates after being hit over the head with its ads EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past year, I felt this. I try to resist the slimy marketing tactics, the urge to doomscroll, the need to know useless, fleeting internet trends (Brat summer? Demure and mindful? Do I really need to know this?), but the struggle is real. I’m not even 14, I’m 44!😭😂 Great essay! This is how we fight back.✊🏽
Thank you so much for your kind words Nida! 💓 I thought brat summer was funny but 1) I didn’t even fully get the demure thing and 2) that really felt over before it even began 🤣 We don’t need this noise! We need to frolic 🌸
Absolutely! Play is so underrated as a means for self-actualization. We really had it right the first time, as kids.😂
Lolling at the Serena Van Der Woodsen ref ☺️💕
Any excuse to reference Gossip Girl 🤣
The title got me on this one. I am so incredibly drawn to self-improvement messaging — and it’s so incredibly detrimental to think that your self needs endless improvement and optimization. It really is “quicksand,” as you say. Enchanting article ✨
Thank you Rose and so happy it connected 🫶🏻 we really are all living through the same struggles
🤣 Is it now acceptable to dunk on Atomic Habits?!
YESSS! *brings out litany of complaints*
Btw:
"I don’t think any the civilisations that came before us were so obsessed with building habits, time management and self-optimisation." :)
Time Management is an industrial thing post-WW1-era-esque - foisted upon us by "Management" Experts. I read somewhere it was some guy who shadowed Coal Miners or SteelMill Workers and then showed that XYZ thing could be done in less time or whatever who started the trend of 'Atomic' Maximising.
(gaaah! why won't susbtack allow formatting in comments?!!)
Yoga, and the practice of Meditation or the other Hindu/Indian religious practices - and one could say the entire Hindu or Indian way of life if about Building Habits, Self-Optimisation towards the next stage(s) of life - and finally to Moksha.
This encapsulates my own experience of this energy overwhelm and how now I am listening to my body. When she feels the ick, sick, nauseous, headachey, I lie down and stare at the ceiling, or go for a walk. I quit all social media back in 2020 but battled on/off with IG and now off it completely. My phone is still at me though. I am almost finished a post about how the phone is a metaphor for the mind, which I need to get back to. My lesson is to listen to the body, honour what she feeds back to me, and never to override her. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much Íse - I'm super interested to read your post about the phone being a metaphor for the mind!!! The phone being an object, an extension of our minds as well as a body part is something that I find really fascinating. I touched on it in one of my other recent posts called "Me, my phone and I" - https://open.substack.com/pub/caoilainn/p/me-my-phone-and-i?r=1xgpg1&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Thanks for sharing - I enjoyed reading it and I had to laugh as we cite the same study from different sources, great minds 😉
I cannot tell you how much I needed to read this. Thank you.
Thank YOU for reading Katie 🫶🏻 so happy this resonated
the $5,000 cold water tub is so REAL!!
I love this take & would love to lie in a field with you any day 🧚🏽♀️
Thanks for reading, Julia! 🩷
The title instantly made me read this. Great read and I’m excited to read Cal Newport’s book you mentioned! 🥰
You won’t regret it Kamela! Thanks for reading 💕
Loved reading this and it feels so relatable right now. I completely exited instagram maybe nearly 2 years ago now (it’s been so long I can’t actually remember) but I’m still so drawn to those short snappy videos on YouTube and Facebook and all of a sudden I find myself watching something and then thinking would my life be better if… when I’m really happy with my life as it is! Amazing how it gets you, eh!
I always remind myself how many teams of people designed this specifically to make it addictive. You need to be so careful to protect your time! Thanks for reading 💕
Those hard water shampoos are so clearly just normal shampoos with a bit of citric acid shoved in! 😂
Knew it was nothing special!!! 🤣
"life should have a great deal of unstructured time for play and contemplation" - ooohhh this is right up my alley, and something I'm planning on writing about in the coming months!
Very thought-provoking read Caoilainn. I've been thinking about this a lot in terms of the behaviours I want to model for O. But toddlers are also great teachers - they literally just want to sit outside and touch grass! Also that final Rosamund Pike gif is perfection.
Thank you Caoimhs 💓 lol I cannot get enough of Rosamund Pike in Saltburn, she stole the show every single time she was on screen
Great read, Caoilainn. Funny enough, I bought Hello Klean haha a while back, but it didn't have the shower head, just the cartridge. A hairdresser friend recommended it after I told him I had eczema on my head. It didn't really help with that, and now luckily it's gone.
I feel so much better since logging on less and less on Instagram. I miss out on a lot, but I feel more peaceful without this constant bombardment of information. And when I log on occasionally, it's so crazy how my mood shifts again to feeling more anxious, wanting, planning... I'm still on YouTube, but I try and only follow people now that feel nourishing to watch, even though the recommendation page is sometimes a danger zone haha
When Blinkist first came out, I was extremely sad as someone who loves reading books. I couldn't believe why we want to optimize everything. I did try it out of curiosity, but these 15 minutes left me more empty than nourished.
Nooooo it got you 💸😅 I was *this* close. Also love that you tried Blinkist and found out for yourself. It’s funny, I also feel very cautious of developing an attitude where any new or innovative = bad or to be avoided. Life is never that black and white, it just feels like such a minefield trying new things because they are designed to capture our attention. And I second the mental health boost that comes from deleting Instagram. Actually going to do it now and enjoy the weekend 😎
hahahaha I didn't see it on Instagram, my hairdresser friend told me about it in person. Although he may have seen it on Instagram. But I have fallen for other things I saw on Instagram.
As someone who works in tech, I'm always curious to try new things. I love innovative products, but I had doubts when I tried Blinkisr. I enjoy reading and writing, and the thought of someone reading a 15-minute version of a book I've written is devastating! Imagine, OMG? I would cry.
Oh, and James Clear, I really liked his book, but after reading your post, I realize I need to take it with a pinch of salt as we are surrounded by toxic productivity. My next post will touch base on this as I keep falling for this trap.
Enjoy your weekend, baby!
Ah thanks for the clarification. Makes sense :)
When I found out what hip dips were—and that I had them—I was like why are we inventing new demons? Are they issuing patents on insecurities now or something?
Also, I don’t even think they look bad!
This is a wonderful essay, and I deeply resonate with the temptation to add layers of “productivity” instead of just resting. It’s such a tough push and pull — I feel more pressure to perform optimization for others than to actually be optimized for myself.
I recently started a small challenge where I take a 20-minute nap everyday (the nature of my work makes this impossible some days), but it’s helping me do “nothing.”
I love this idea! Reminds me of the many 30-day challenges (eg. for exercise etc) on youtube, for self-improvement. Imagining the youtube video for "30 days of napping" - how inspiring it would be 😆
I truly need to take this on (but I'm panicking inside because ""productivity""")
It's a shared struggle for so many of us!